Only Me Beside You
by thisislogical
Summary: Mother's Day is approaching, and the crew are preparing to leave for the five year mission. Jim's mom has convinced him to come to Iowa to see her, and in a moment of pure genius - or stupidity - he invites Spock along with him.


It was Mother's Day.

On Terra, anyway. Well, it would be, in about a week. The Enterprise and her crew were scheduled to depart for their five-year mission in 10 days. Jim Kirk had, despite multiple attempts to wiggle out of it, agreed to go back to Iowa for the weekend to spend time with his mother. Winona Kirk was not to be denied – she would see her son, even if he claimed illness every time she called him.

So Jim found himself at a small shop near the Academy four days before he was set to leave for home. Home – he still found it difficult to use that word. He hadn't had a home, not really. Not until – well, not until he'd met his new family. All of them, they were his home, but especially –

"Oh, sorry, sorry, my bad" Jim said as he looked up at the person he had run straight into, distracted by his thoughts.

"It is of no consequence, Captain."

Jim's eyes lit up. "Spock!"

The Vulcan had also been distant. Not exceedingly so, but each time Jim tried to contact him, he seemed to be engrossed in paperwork. Jim tried to pretend it didn't hurt, but the other Spock had told him they would have a special friendship, and he wanted to see if that was a possibility in this timeline too.

"Hello, Captain," Spock replied, lips thin and eyes withdrawn.

"Is everything alright?" Jim asked. The Vulcan looked upset, though Jim didn't really know how a Vulcan could look upset.

"Everything is too broad a category for me to accurately respond to that inquiry, Captain. As such, I must-"

"Spock, relax. You do that when you're stressed. What's up?"

Spock looked down sharply. "What is it that I do that you are assuming represents stress?"

Jim smirked a bit. The Vulcan thought he was so good at hiding his emotions. You just had to pay attention to notice them, they weren't hidden, just veiled.

"You start talking formally. More formally, you know."

A tiny frown appeared on Spock's face. "Interesting, I must meditate on your reasoning. Furthermore, I am not stressed."

"Okay," Jim allowed. He switched topics then, so as not to make his friend even more uncomfortable than he already was. "So what're you doing here? Bookstores seem a bit old fashioned for you, too Terran."

"Ah, yes," Spock replied, as he began walking toward one of the isles. "But my mother loved books, and I find myself inclined to participate in this old tradition."

Suddenly, Kirk realized why the Vulcan had looked so upset. Mother's Day.

"Spock, uh…did your family celebrate any Terran holidays?"

The figure in front of Jim halted, back stiffening. "Yes, we did. I assume you are referring to the holiday that is 6.32 days away from now."

Jim shuffled his feet, trying to think of some way to continue this conversation without making an even bigger ass out of himself.

"I, uh, I was, yeah. I'm sorry, it wasn't cool of me to say anything. If you want, I can just – "

"Captain."

Jim looked up, having ducked his head in the middle of his rambling apology. But when Spock turned toward him, he didn't see anger. He saw – sympathy?

"Yeah?"

"I know you did not intend any harm in your question. Yes, my family celebrated Mother's Day. It was one of her favorite holidays. She had spent many years believing she would never be a mother, you see. We indulged her. This year, it is difficult."

"I'm sorry man. I really am. And I know I never apologized for what happened on the bridge, but I am sorry. I didn't, it wasn't –" Jim struggled for words, suddenly overwhelmed with guilt. At the time, he knew he had to do it. There was no choice. But he'd never had the chance to really say sorry for it, and now that he did, he couldn't find the words.

"It is forgiven."

They looked at each other for a moment, and the meaning of that sentence hung in the air. For a moment, neither said a word. There was a peace between them that had not been there before.

Jim cleared his throat. "Thanks, Spock."

"You are welcome," he replied with a nod, turning back to the books on the shelf in front of him. Jim turned to leave when he heard the Vulcan ask, "Do you celebrate Mother's Day, Captain?"

"Uh, not usually no. And it's Jim, Spock. We're not on the ship."

"Very well, Jim."

He'd asked him to call him by his name before, and he had, but this time felt different. Jim, taken slightly aback, began rambling again to distract from the sudden flood of feelings he was desperately trying to avoid.

"Well, we did when we were little. She had Sam and I sit with her for dinner, but then it was different when Sam left. She's making me come back to Iowa this weekend though. Dunno why, but she insisted."

"You are going home this coming weekend?" Spock lifted an eyebrow, clearly surprised at this.

"No," Jim replied without thinking. He was answering a different question, one Spock hadn't asked.

"No? Did you not just say-"

"I'm not going home. I'm going to Iowa." There was a finality in his voice that stopped Spock from pushing, though the Vulcan still looked confused.

"I see. When are you departing?"

Jim turned to look at the books as well. "Four days from now."

And then it hit him. His brilliant, stupid idea.

"Hey, you know, you could come with if you want."

Spocks hands stilled on the book he had been about to retrieve. "Excuse me?"

Whoops.

"Well, I'm going by myself, and I don't really want to, but it'd be nice to have some company, you know? And maybe it could, I don't know, distract you or something. I didn't really think it through, just ignore – "

"I accept."


End file.
